I require work...

I'm so proud of myself!!! Batman came over last night and I didn't do nuffin, nada, ZILCH!! Not even a tongue kiss!! Ok there was some light groping on his part, but I shut it DOOOWWWWNNN lol. He even threw out the offer of oral which is like my cryptonite, but I was like "Nah dude, I'm good."

Before he came over I had worked out in my head what I was going to say to him. How I was going to tell him we couldn't have sex anymore because I wasn't ok with a couple things like: recieving 1 phone call and a palm full of text messages over a two week period, or the whole "no strings attached sex" deal, or the fact that I can't seem to get my own time only what he has left over after giving everyone else time. I realized that he wasn't being malicious or trying to play me, he was just doing what he wanted to do and getting what he wanted to get. If I never said a word things would have continued on the way they had been until he got tired and moved on or went after something more. He's not the one with the problem, I am, so I had to do what I had to do to fix it for me.

We chilled and watched tv for a couple of hours. During that time he started massaging my back and asked if we could go in my bedroom so he could rub the rest of me. I said "No". Later he said it smells good in here (I had just baked a cake). I wonder how "she" smells. I laughed it off, moved his hand and went to put icing on the cake. He was rubbin one of the girls and asked me why was my bra so thick. I told him to stop gropping me then proceeded to answer his question. By that time he got the idea and knew it wasn't going to happen. I on the other hand was secretly losing my mind and kept getting flashes of all the naughty things he was offering to do lol. I even debated on a having one last hurrah before shutting it down, but thought better of it. Outwardly, I maintained my composure.

He told me that he had gotten the days mixed up, and his friend actually wanted the cake on Wednesday night and that he'd have to take it all the way to Jersey. Just hearing that made me even happier about my decision to not go there because this would have been a drive by. After I finished packing the cake up, and he was paying me, I jokingly told him to feel free to tip the chef. He replied, "Oh I was gonna tip her, but she doesn't want it. I had the tip all worked out." I replied "Aint that she don't want it, she just ain't tryna catch feelins." He said "Oh, I understand." I took this opportunity to elaborate, but I didn't quite say all of the things that I thought to say earlier. What I did say was "I just know better. I know that there are certain things that I'm ok with and certain things that I'm not. Like the 1 phone call and a palm full of text messages over the last two weeks? Not so ok with that. Or the whole "no strings attached" deal? Not so ok with that either. But its cool. It just is what it is." He was kind of quiet then he said, "Well I guess somebody is gonna have to work on that." I shrugged and said "I guess so." It's not that I don't believe him, its just that well...I don't believe him lol. I don't expect him to do anything different than he's already been doing. Where do things go from here? I don't know. I require work; apparently more work than he's willing to put in.