Everybody got something to say…

I was told this morning that since everyone has something to say about my plans to relocate then it must mean I’m doing something right. If I were to truly use this as a barometer then Atlanta is definitely where I need to be. Sunday I was driving back from my dad’s house in East Bubblefrick NJ when I got a call from A, this guy I dated for about three months back in 04. We were good together. He was sweet and attentive for the most part and an all around nice guy. We never made things official but dated exclusively. The only hiccup came from when he introduced me to someone then looked at me and said “Yeah this is my buddy” *insert record scratch here* Needless to say I was NOT happy about that seeing as how we were doing very un-buddylike things on a regular basis. We got past that and all was well.

We stopped dating because he apparently suffered from depression and had to take some time to himself. Fair enough. I was sympathetic and had our relationship been in a different place, I would have waited for him for a little while instead of moving on all together. Over the years we kept in touch here and there and hung out sporadically. I liked having him as a friend so I didn’t mind the occasional “non-date”. A funny thing happens when you take off the glasses of like/love. You start to see things that you either never noticed before and/or the things you let slide in the past now become incredibly annoying. In the case of A, after we stopped seeing each other, I began to slowly realize that I dodged a huge bullet.

Yeah he was sweet, kind and loved me in spite of myself, but there were things about him that annoyed me to no end in hind site and during the span of our friendship. Small things like the fact that he has the WORST memory and I had to tell him things about myself over and over again. Simple things like I don’t eat beef or pork. He also had what I felt was an unnaturally close relationship to his parents. I felt like whoever he married would always be number 3 on his list of priorities. I mean a 31 year old man should NEVER refer to himself as his mom’s baby boy no matter the context. Part of me thought that I was wrong for feeling this way simply because my relationship with my parents isn’t as close, but then I remember that they had a key to his house and would drop by unannounced on occasion so he told me I couldn’t walk around down stairs in my t shirt and panties because they might pop up. Umm…yeah. Add to that the fact that he’s a bit too soft and emo for me, I could walk all over him if I wanted to, he cares WAY TOO MUCH about what others think, the sex was about as vanilla as you can get, AND he’s a Hebrew Israleite and you can see why I never looked back after I had a chance to leave.

This summer he moved to North Carolina and asked me about going with him. At the time I had no desire to relocate with anyone let alone him and told him I was staying put and North Carolina wasn’t appealing to me at all. When he called on Sunday, he asked could he fly me down to see him. I said sure because while I don’t want to date him, I still consider him a friend. I then told him about my plans to relocate and he seemed really surprised and said that he was thinking about moving to Atlanta in about a year. A little further into the conversation, almost as if it dawned on him out of nowhere he says “Wait…when I asked you about moving to NC you said you didn’t want to move.” I told him at the time that I didn’t want to move. I changed my mind. I am entitled to change my mind. So then he gets all hurt and asks “Well why are you moving to Atlanta?” and when I explained to him why, he says “Well I guess I wasn’t enough for you to move to NC.” *crickets* Umm…will somebody tell this dude that he aint my man?! Hell he’s technically never even BEEN my man! No you weren’t enough for me to pick up everything and move to a state I have NO DESIRE WHATSOEVER to live in. This dude then says “You know if I wasn’t planning on moving to Atlanta in about a year, I’d be really hurt.” *blink* See this is what I’m talking about!! We talked about once every other month and I barely saw him when he was in Philly. We hung out maybe, MAYBE two or three times A YEAR! Why is he trippin?

He had an attitude the rest of the convo…ask me if I cared. He asked why I never call him and when I told him I call but he never answers, he actually said “Yeah, whatever.” WOW. This dude really felt some type of way because he NEVER talks to me like that. Once again…ask me if I care. What’s even funnier is 5 minutes later he tells me he doesn’t get reception in his house. Do you think, maybe, just maybe, that when I call you AT NIGHT and you’re at HOME that would explain why you never get my calls? Just a thought. So finally we get back to the original purpose of his call and he tells me that he has some things he wants to talk to me about. I say “Ok, what’s on your mind?” and he tells me no I want to talk to you when you’re down here in November. At that point I knew I wouldn’t be going. What I thought was just a friendly trip to see his new digs seemed to be morphing into an ambush to get me back or something foolish like that. I even had one friend suggest he wants to talk about MARRAIGE. Umm…NO. For all the reasons I don’t want to date him, I can come up with a couple more about why I don’t want to MARRY HIM. I once told him he was the kind of guy I could marry and now I think my words may come back to bite me. I just think it’s funny that THIS is what he chooses to remember.