The Lazy Post: Part Duex

Yay!! I got lots of questions!! You guys love me!! Or tolerate me, but either way, I'm happy lol. So here goes...

Angie asks…
Who do you want to be?
Well that’s a good question. Most folks asks WHAT do you want to be not WHO. What is a much easier question to answer because “who” can be tricky. I want to be a woman of my word. I want to mean what I say, and say what I mean. I want to be a woman of action. I want to do what I say and say what I do. And through it all, I want to be consistent.

What are you doing to be that person?
I’m trying to remain as open and honest as possible with myself. It’s not always easy because lying to yourself seems less complicated sometimes. That is, until you realize its all a house of cards and it comes crashing down. Deep answer for a deep question lol.


Ms Sula asks...
How did religion become such an important part of your life?
Once I was old enough to understand what it was I was born into so to speak it became more and more important. The more I learned the more important it became. As far as when it became important to my dating life specifically, it was the summer of 04 when I was dating A hot and heavy. I had decided that it would probably be best that I not date outside of my religion before meeting A, but made an exception for him because I didn’t think it was going to go anywhere anyway so I figured why bother with the hard conversation. I was wrong, but the more involved we got the less I cared about our differences. Then one day Kat invited me to a singles seminar at her church. There was all this talk about being unevenly yoked and abstaining from sex. It struck a chord with me because I’d not to long ago come to the realization that I was falling in love with A. I knew that it was possible to have a successful relationship with him, it would just require some hard work, so I figured I needed to be strong in my faith because he would never be able to offer me a particular kind of support that comes with sharing the same faith. I stopped having sex with him and he was fine with it. Things eventually fell apart for other reasons and once that happened, I just adopted a blanket policy about who I’d like to date and started TRYING to be celibate.

Do you still believe that if you meet the absolutely perfect man that is not Christian, you'll let him go?
Wow, umm…I have to say that if a guy seemed perfect yet wasn’t Christian I’d have to wonder just how perfect he was. It’s easy to say I’d walk away, but let’s be real, if I took the time to get to know him and it came to a point where I had to make a decision like that, chances are I wouldn’t let him go. He’d have to be taken away from me; meaning God would have to remove him form that position in my life. There’d be nothing I could do about it. If at the end of the say he was still standing, then I’d keep him around and be diligent about putting palms to it to keep us both covered.


Sha Boogie asks...
How many men have you dated 'seriously' that you met on line?
Ha!! You had to go and throw that “seriously” part on there huh lol? Umm that would be one. I don’t think you can call what Batman and I had serious because it ended up being a pretty funny joke. Before him there was C. Now hind site is 20/20 mind you so by my standards today I wouldn’t consider it serious, but last year around this time you couldn’t tell me it wasn’t. I care about you, I want you, even I love you was thrown out, but I’m coming to see you only made it out there once or twice, and he never came through. So I guess the real answer is NONE lol.


B. Good asks...
What keeps you going in the dating world? What motivates you to put yourself out there?
What keeps me going is the hope of getting out!! I want OUT!! I don’t wanna do this any longer than absolutely necessary lol. It really aint all that fun because knee grows be on some OTHER ish. I have my moments where I’m just tired. I’m actually having one as we speak. Dating, relationships, marriage and the future are not even on my agenda. I kinda wanna just be left alone. But in these moments, I know that I’m just telling myself a well crafted lie. Truth be told, if I met a guy who was everything I needed in a man and most of what I wanted then everything I said would go straight out the window. So when I fall down I get back up. I try to learn what it is I was supposed to learn and pray I don’t repeat the same mistakes next time.

It seems that over the years you have definitely "loved and lost", as they say. Why do you think you've "lost"?
I’ve lost because of the choices I made. Thinking with my heart and not with my head, trusting dudes too early, not being critical enough and ignoring all the signs telling me I was headed in the wrong direction all in the name of “maybe this time will be different”. Well you do the same thing, you get the same thing…I’m just trying to keep that in the forefront of my mind for when it really counts.


PAJNSTL asks...
1. What are you wearing today
Well I look pretty cute today it I do say so myself! I’ve got on brown slacks with a blue-ish green pinstripe, a white tank under a blue/green wrap top, camel colored wedges, a jean jacket and I’m carrying my suede and leather camel colored clutch.

2. Who are your fav blogger male/female?
This is a tough one. I read all the folks on my blog roll on a fairly regular basis, but there are a few that are really in jeopardy of getting me fired one day. Namely, Sha Boogie, Tracie Mae (her Friday Rap Up’s are INSANE), Listen to Leon, and Eclectik Relaxation (his rotation is almost always on point).

3. When you graduated college what were your goals?
I just wanted to get a JOB!! I didn’t care what it was doing, I was just terrified of being unemployed!! I took the first offer that came my way even though it had NOTHING and I mean NOTHING to do with my major. When I realized how far at the bottom I had to start in the field I went to school for AND that I had to MOVE from STATE to STATE to pursue it, I bolted for the nearest exit. Who wants to be a production assistant making 8 bucks an hour when I was making 12.50 as a student worker for a non-profit org? They offered me a full time gig with benefits, an opportunity to travel the country AND a salary that was higher than what the other folks my age were making and I was like “Shoooo!! Mama aint raise no fool!!” lol.

4. How has life/circumstance changed those goals?
Everything happens for a reason. Although I went to school for broadcasting and loss any drive to work in that field by the time I had degree in hand, I was content with my little job. I was living the life at 22 but it wasn’t long before I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to stay in my comfort zone forever. I took to few duties at my job that allowed me to be creative better than others. So much so, I decided that I wanted to make a career out of it. I went BACK to school to be formally educated about things I already knew so I could pursue a career as a web designer. I wasted $17,000 (death to the Chubb Institute) on the “formal” education, but like I said everything happens for a reason. Now I’m a graphic designer and while its fine, somewhere along the lines I started baking and my new plan is to one day have my own chain of small bakeries, compete in a Food Network Challenge and have my own show. Yup, I got big dreams.

5.What is one of your regrets? Why?
I regret losing my virginity when I did to who I did. I was WAY too young (13) and he didn’t deserve any of my Mahogany goodness. It’s the one thing I’d take back. When I tell you peer pressure with a shot of low self esteem is a BITCH, I really mean it.

6. You walk into a bathroom and see someone has left their purse, What do you do?
For the most part, I’ll try to find someone to give it to like a manager, bartender, or waitress or something like that if at all possible. If not, I’ll go through it and look for ID and try to contact the person. If there’s no ID and no one to hand it over to, and it’s a cute bag, it gets added to my collection lol. If its an ugly bag, it stays right there in hopes that someone will come back and reclaim their fashion travesty lol.