Wednesday, December 19, 2007

How Daddy Got His Groove Back

So my dad comes to me last week and tells me that he’s going to have “company”…here we go again. This time she’s coming from out of the COUNTRY…London to be exact. He was really excited too. He ironed what he was going to wear to pick her up from the airport the night before lol. It was cute. Then he told me how old she was and I was troubled. She’s 33. Yup, only 5 years older than me. Say it with me now…EWWWW!! This chick could be my girlfriend!! We could go shopping together, trade stories about stupid boys and do each others hair!! Why is she interested in my 51 year old father?!

She’s supposed to be staying until Christmas or so. When he reminded me that she was coming Monday night, I suggested we straighten up but he said “Its fine. I’ll just have her do it. She’s a Nigerian girl, she won’t mind” *Enter MORTIFIED look >>here<<* All I could say was “Daddy!! NO!!!!” He said he was kidding, but he still got the side eye because all jokes are born in some level of truth. Folks talk all the time about how Nigerian men are NOTORIOUSLY chauvinistic and I can’t handle my daddy fitting that mold. I just pray he was really kidding, but if the dishes are done when I get home I’m going to have a problem, Imma be happy that I didn’t have to do them, but I’m going to be very disappointed lol. He did make sure his room was spotless though. He even bought new sheets and a comforter.

She got in late last night and I was surprised to see that she was actually really pretty. Not that I don’t think my dad can pull nice looking women, after all my mom and his soon to be ex-wife are both really pretty, I just don’t think of him as a man that anyone would be interested in. He’s my DADDY for Pete’s Sake lol!! He shouldn’t be dating or sexing or macking or pimpin. He should be sitting in a rocker looking out the window wearing a cardigan complaining about the loud kids playing in the street. That’s how I like to think of him lol. I promise if I hear a single moan, sigh or creak of the bed, I’m getting up and driving to Philly to stay with Kat or Big Vern. I can’t take it!

Oh, and the “shape” is back in the office tucked away behind the futon. I hope it stays there the entire time she’s visiting…

EDIT: When I got home last night, the dishes were done...SMH

10 comments:

PAJNSTL said...

GURL!!! Your daddy is a PIMP! whew... and I hoped you packed your overnight bag, b/c you KNOW there will be some moaning, lol

Thic Flair said...

Dads is an inspiration man.

Kayos said...

Look man! LOL!

You can't be mad your daddy got his groove back.

You can't be mad he gettin his and you not gettin yours.

You just need to get you a good radio and turn that volume on 10 or like mine on 40 and just try and bump that noise out your mind.

Hurry up and move on out so you can make some noise of your own.

I'll be back.

Ms Sula said...

Loll @ your daddy! I am so not mad at him. Loll!

Well, doesn't it bother you though that whole chauvinistic thing? Well, I guess it's the way they are raised... ***smh***

(I need that shape thing. :))

B. Good said...

"He should be sitting in a rocker looking out the window wearing a cardigan complaining about the loud kids playing in the street."

BWAHAHAHA!! Not the cardigan, lol. THAT was funny. Awww, poor delusional Moho Brown. *pats on the back*

mp1 said...

i told u b4 curvy, ya pops is my role model. thats my kind of people.

stop hating! lol

Mahogany Brown said...

You know what, all yall make me sick LOL!! What if this was YOUR PARENTS?!! It aint so funny now, is it? Lol!!!

mp1 said...

if it was my moms, that'd be disgusting! ewwwww
but I know yall would be laughing at me....so I'll take entertainment in your story! hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha

Kamika said...

Gurllll, your daddy is the man! And older men are the bomb! Most of them are already somebody daddy! LOL.

Sha Boogie said...

Happy New Year Mahongany! OMG - I am so mad at your dad right now..LOL That is all kinds of hilarious!