DOH!!

So J has been REALLY BUSY lately. We still talk every day and send emails while at work, but the frequency isn't what it used to be and the content is definitely not as in depth. When things start to "settle" in a budding romance, I'm generally not surprised when it happens. I just take it as a sign that we're comfortable together and try to figure out how to operate in the new "space" that we've created. When it started a couple weeks ago, I didn't think too much of our shorter conversations and less substantial emails since I knew that he was busy with a new project at work, trying to get a promotion AND working on his MBA (yeah my boo is ambitious lol). HE brought it to my attention before I even noticed honestly. He basically said I know I've been busy and that I haven't had as much time for you lately, but I just want to let you know that the honeymoon isn't over and I'm still very much interested in you. I was shocked to say the least! I thought it was incredibly sweet and mature of him to even be thinking in that vain. I'm certainly not used to that lol. I told him that I understood and that he should just handle his business because I'll be here when he's done and I meant every single word. I'm supportive and stuff right?! Lol

Fast forward two weeks…

Now if there is one thing that's started to annoy me, it's when he says "Let me call you right back" and I don't hear from him until the next day. It drives me UP.A.FRIGGIN.WALL. ESPECIALLY when I have something I want to talk to him about or I'm in the middle of telling him something or we haven't talked all day. So Thursday, he doesn't get around to calling me back and I'm annoyed because he did it Wednesday night too. I'm wondering if this is going to become a pattern and starting to feel like I'm about to get lost in the shuffle of his busy life. Along comes Friday and now not only am I annoyed, I'm also fresh on the other side of a bad cold and PMSing! Being sick, agitated, emotional and INCREDIBLY HORNY does NOT have a positive effect on rational thinking! And I recognized that! I was flipping out and I had NO IDEA WHY! So before I said anything to him, I tried to figure out if my beef was with him or the WORLD. I eventually come to the conclusion that it wasn't really him, but I was still feeling attention starved and needed to let him know. We'd already been texting back and forth a little since I didn't have to work and he did so I let him know. That's when he called me and I realized that I messed up BIG TIME!

So…we're talking and I'm explaining to him how I feel the best I can. I'm not always the best at it outside of writing. I've kinda crippled myself in that regard with my last couple relationships. In between one of my long awkward pauses, he says "Oh bet! I got some comments on Myspace wishing me happy birthday" Now I'm thinking "This knee grow talking bout Myspace while I'm trying to tell him"…insert record scratch >>here<<

MB: Wait…isn't it a little early for birthday wishes?
J: Umm…no.
MB: But isn't your birthday Monday?
J: Uhh…no. Actually it's today.
MB: *crawls under bed because she feels that small* OH MY GOD! I AM SO SORRY!
J: (laughing) Oh wow you didn't know? I was wondering why I didn't talk to you until 12 today. And then I hit you up first. I thought to myself 'She must be feeling some type of way'

When I tell you that I felt like the village idiot…it really is an UNDERSTATEMENT. Not ONLY did I almost miss it, but I told him that I needed some attention on HIS BIRTHDAY?! OH.MY.GOD. I am silently dying inside as I type this lol. He thinks its funny and was totally cool about it, but I can't help but think about how I would have felt if the shoe was on the other foot! I even told him if I was a guy and he was a girl, I would never be able to live it down lol. He agreed and went into all the things a woman would have said, one of which was "I don't know where you got the 24^th from! Aint nobody say nothing about the 24^th! You don't listen!" lol.

As I was typing this I had to stop and apologize once again because I still feel horrible lol. I wanted to make him feel all kinds of special on his birthday and I missed the mark, screwed up the dismount and fell on the landing lol.

And it gets better…

At least I was thinking about his birthday on his birthday lol. I got him a digital voice recorder (because he's always asking me to remember stuff for him or sending himself text messages as reminders or calling his voicemail so he can remember an idea, a subject or a song melody for later lol) and picked out three birthday cards that were absolutely PERFECT. I think I was more excited about the cards than the recorder lol! I had it all packed and ready to go for over a week. I held on to it so I could time the shipping perfectly and make sure he'd get it ON his birthday. So Friday, I drive to the almost impossible to find post office around my dad's house and ship it off to MD just for my boo J. I get all the way home, open the fridge and it suddenly hit me…I didn't put the apartment number on the box…oh crap. Hmm…well maybe it won't be a problem. They'll just put it with the rest of his mail right? Only if the rest of his mail is addressed to "The Birthday Boy"! SMH!! Chances are, I'll be getting the package back lol. Funny thing is, even if his birthday was on Monday, he wouldn't have gotten his gift on time lol! I felt so bad about almost missing his birthday that I broke down and told him what I got him when he asked. He was really excited about it, but then I had to tell him that he probably wouldn't be getting it for another two weeks. When I told him why, he found it quite amusing. Way to go Mahogany. Way to go.

I'm not even his girlfriend yet and I suck as a girlfriend lol.