Randomness: Reading ain't always fundamental

I have an interview tomorrow. I've already interviewed with two different people over the phone and they both seemed to like me. I mean what's not to like, but I digress lol. This all happened last week and I don't remember applying for this job AT ALL. Because of that, I ended up tap dancing, shucking and jiving and playing up every strength I had lol. I think I may have even told them about the badge I got in Girl Scouts when I was 8 lol. So now they are bringing me down for a "site visit" and I promise you if don't offer me the job or the salary is way too low, I'm gonna be SAL-TY and MAD lol. Hopefully all will go well and my next entry will be one of my last ones from Dirty Jerz.

Insert crossed fingers >>here<<

I mentioned my blog...he asked for the addy. Umm...not gonna happen lol. I let the last one read it because there was far less gushing, but what I've been doing is so not "new guy" friendly lol. This is like my diary and I only let a few thousand cl0se personal friends read it lol. We aren't that close yet!! Plus, he knows how much I like him, but he don't KNOW HOW MUCH I LIKE HIM lol. Yeah, I think I'm gonna keep my cards a lil close to my chest this round lol.

Insert poker face >>here<<

Natedogg STILL and I mean STILL IM's me. We talk like everyday almost and everyday I am reminded of just how young he really is. He annoys me to no end sometimes. I actually said to him today "Ok, I'm done talking to you for the day. Be gone peon." I was kidding, but I was so serious! He makes me say mean things. It's all his fault lol!! I don't know why I still entertain him. That's all my fault lol!! He asked me out to dinner today.

Insert blank stare >>here<<

Sometimes I want to bail. Sometimes I want to tell J "Let's just be friends before we screw things up and can't stand each other." But as scared as I am about things going horribly, horribly wrong, I'm more afraid of not seeing what this could be. I was listening to the new Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown song "No Air" and I got really sad thinking to myself "One day I'm going to have to get over him." In that moment, I realized that all my years of falling down, dusting myself off and getting back up again have finally taken a toll. I'm gun shy about having genuine feelings for him because I know along with that comes the potential for being hurt. I guess I'm not as resilient as I used to be. I'm officially damaged goods.

Insert sad face and fetal position >>here<<

I don't think I ever wrote about what happened with the old friend from college. Well, he sends me a message on Myspace after us not talking on the phone or via text for like two weeks. It's this dry assed message like we don't know each other at all, so I call him on it. He responds "So you want me to talk? How bout this, when you gonna bring your sexy chocolate ass down here to see me?" So at this point, I'm slightly tickled and mildly intrigued. I tell him that while I would LOVE nothing more than to bring my "sexy chocolate ass" to see his sexy chai latte ass, I'm not about to spend 20 bucks in tolls and 4o bucks in gas and drive across two states to see someone who's not even interested in me. He asked what gave me that impression. Umm...could it be the fact that you can't even pick up the phone to call or text? Maybe. So after a bit of a back and forth it became apparent that all he wanted was sex. He made comments like "I'll make it worth your while. I guarantee!" and jokes about booty calls. I not so politely declined and told him unless he meant that he was taking me out to dinner and a show and buying me flowers. lilies to be exact, it would NOT be worth my while. After he got the hint, he threw out a cursory "If you're ever in town and want to hang out..."

Insert side eye >>here<<

Sunday night, my dad asked me how was my trip. I smiled and said it was good. His response? "I bet it was! Look at you! You're glowing!" I NEARLY DIED. I promise I nearly passed out lol. Daddy is noticing things? Da hell?! Am I floatin around the house and what not lol? Weeks ago he commented on a new hair style and said "So when do I get to meet this new boyfriend that you're making trips and changing your hair for?" HUH?! All I could say is "He's not my boyfriend. He's just a boy I like" lol. Daddy wasn't buying it. He's planning the wedding already and talking about flying relatives in from Nigeria.

Insert head buried in hands >>here<<

I still think about The Friend from time to time, specifically when I hear any J Holiday song. I don't still have feelings for him in that "I want you back" kind of way, but he crosses my mind every now and then. There's a small part of me that thinks I'm at a point where we could actually be friends, but a wiser part of me knows that's only because my interest lies elsewhere now. The problem is, as long as that's the ONLY reason why I feel that way, it's not a good idea. I'm just going to chuck him up to "reasons and seasons" and KIM because it's not even worth it on so many levels.

Insert stiletto pumped supermodel walk >>here<<